When it Positively has to be There, but Maybe not Overnight

This might be my second favorite leadership principle: Know yourself and seek improvement.  (I don't necessarily plan on hitting all of the Marine Corps' eleven principles, but there are a few that stand out prominently in my mind.)  I think it pretty much speaks for itself.  One problem with the way it's interpreted by many Marines, however, is that it focuses on the negative.  It could be rewritten to say:  Know your faults and seek improvement.

This is still great advice, as it implies that we should seek our shortcomings so we may recognize and improve ourselves.  Nobody is perfect, and most things we do take practice to get good at.  Getting better at things we struggle at is certainly a good thing, and I'm sure I'll write plenty more to you girls about this in the future.

What's also important is for us to search ourselves and recognize our strengths.  We were all given certain gifts, and whether or not we like them, we should take advantage of them.  There are some abilities each of you girls will be better at than others.  Joy, you are great at organizing.  Little Bear, people are drawn to you.  You may find these talents stick with each of you, and you'll develop others.  Of course, you'll have to practice these things as well to get truly good at them, but that is the point: Find the things you're good at and harness them.  Work on them.  Strive to be better and improve yourself.  Improving upon things you excel at will build self-confidence, and that's a trait that's missing in us today.  It's a trait I want to help you develop.

In just the couple years of your short lives, I've been fascinated by the changes I've seen in you two.  I look forward to seeing what talents you develop as your characters and personalities form and mature.  As you grow, I hope I can help foster a learning attitude in you.  As you both realize your strengths and weaknesses, I hope you seek to improve.  As I get older too, along with finding gray hairs (I'm on 6 right now I think), I hope I'll find new qualities as well.  I just hope that we can all help each other foster our strengths and build self-confidence.  God willing, we can do it all together.

Do as I do, but not all the time

Lead by example.  It's one of my favorite leadership principles.  On the surface it's quite simple, but there are so many underlying aspects of it that make it so powerful.  Most obviously, if I can show you two how to act instead of simply telling you how to act (especially since actions and words aren't always the same), I can raise you girls to do the right things.  For myself, knowing that someone is always watching, judging ("look at the baby, look at the baby"), is the greatest motivator for myself to do the right things as well.  It's circular, I try to scratch your backs, you scratch mine.  We're all better for it.

What happens though when you see your dear old dad mess up?  As much as I try to get things right the first time, every time, I'm going to get them wrong sometimes.  I don't always get it right when it comes to discipline.  Or handling frustration.  Even when I know you're watching, I still do it wrong.  That's not leading you two by example, and telling you to do as I say, not as I do is probably the worst response I could make.  

What is an example is showing you how to react to those mistakes.  We all have the ability to learn, if we just pay attention.  Like I've written before, when we mess up, we need to take a moment to realize our mistakes, think about how to fix or recover from them, then press on.  At this point, it's not as much a lesson for you as it is for me and your mom.  If we can learn to handle our mistakes, and you see how we're able to do this, then we don't need to be perfect to raise you right (thank the Lord!).  We just need to lead by example.

Coming Soon

This blog will be an account of all the joys and lessons of being a father of two beautiful girls.